Saved by the bell?

Like everyone else these days, I’m a busy person. I have a career as well as a job that actually pays my bills; I have a husband with various needs, and a family of in-laws with assorted other needs; I have a cat and garden, a car that needs some maintenance and a body that needs a little more maintenance than the car. I also have friends with whom I fortunately, with only a few exceptions, enjoy spending time and whom I had always assumed enjoyed spending time with me. It seems that lately though, that is no longer the case.

Don’t get me wrong, my friends still call me, we still plan to meet for lunch, or coffee, or sometimes a drink. They still share their secrets with me and they still appear to be concerned with my welfare, but it seems to me they’re just waiting for something better or more interesting to come along, and more frequently than not that distraction is provided by their cellular telephones.

So, there I am, pouring out my heart about the latest cruel blow life has dealt, or passing on the juiciest bit of gossip I’ve picked up in long time, or even listening intently as they do the same to me, when suddenly it happens. From the depths of their purse/backpack/pocket comes the tinkling sound of their ringing cellphone. It grows steadily louder until the moment it is freed from its confines by my friend, the caller’s identity checked and the little earpiece thing flipped open.

“Hello?” says my friend, and I wait to see what terrible tragedy has transpired. “Oh, hi!” they chirp and I breathe a sigh of relief. “Yes, I’m just having lunch with Lisa.”
I wave, assuming the caller knows who I am. And then the conversation from my end goes something like this:
“Oh, yeah, I called you about this weekend. Can you go?...Yeah…Yeah, I think she’ll be there…Did I tell you what happened?…” And so it continues.
And there I sit, picking at my lettuce trying not to listen in on the conversation that’s taking place 18 inches from me ear, and wondering when I became so boring and insignificant.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a cellphonaphobe. They’re lifesavers, sometimes literally. Most of my girlfriends have children and I understand that when you have kids, you’ve got to answer your phone, even if it’s just to help your little one find the remote control (I have sat through the other end of that conversation, by the way!) But when you take a call from one of your other friends, one of your interesting friends, I’ve got to tell you, that’s just rude. You’re telling me my time is of no value to you, and that you are far more busy and important than I am. You’re also telling me that what your other friend has to say is far important than what I have to say. If that’s the case, then do me a favor, just don’t call me, OK? Call your other friend and go have her spend her money on lunch, and then I can just call you in the middle of it and we can visit that way. It’s much cheaper for me and will take up far less of my valuable time.

I know, that would just be anti-social and miserly, but, please, with our ludicrously busy lives the way we are, we get so little time for one-on-one interaction any more, and I actually do like you. So when we do finally get the chance to get together, do me a favor, make it all about me. It’s only an hour and I promise that I’ll make it all about you. Then when we’re done with our time together, you can call your other friend from the car, while you’re hurtling back to work, or on your way to get your kid from judo, you know, some time when you could really do some damage.

Well, if that’s the only other option, I guess I could sacrifice some of my time…maybe.