By George! It's Time for Some Action!

Seen any dragons lately? I thought not. And you probably won’t, thanks in no small way to St. George. Back at the end of the third century, George made a name for himself by ridding a town in what is now Libya of its evil dragon and thus saving the beautiful princess from sacrifice. He upset some people along the way, though and was ultimately beheaded and his noggin paraded all the way to Rome. For his troubles, though, he was made patron Saint of England, the English equivalent to Ireland’s St. Patrick.

It’s all pretty heroic stuff, but do we English laud George like the Irish with St. Patrick? Will we get plastered and dye our rivers red? No, no, no. We English are far more civilized than our Celtic brethren. We celebrate the savior of fair maidens by…doing bugger all. It’s true. You won’t see many flags bearing the red cross of St. George except on the pubs as a means to drum up more business. There won’t be any fiesta where everyone with a cell of English blood gathers to drink tea and eat bangers and mash. Most Americans have never heard of St. George and while most people in England acknowledge the day, there will be no weeklong festivities.

While St. Paddy’s Day in Dublin lasted for five days this year and a reported 13 million pints of Guinness were consumed around the world, the BBC last year reported that “another St. George’s passed with a smattering of minor events and muted celebrations.” It’s enough to make old George turn in his headless grave.

But change is in the air and a campaign has been launched to raise St. George to a suitable level of esteem for a dragon slayer. (If there’s one thing we Brits do well, it’s campaign. If things get far enough along, there may even be a strike, something only the French do better than us.) The Royal Society of St. George want we English to celebrate our patron saint. They want to make St. George’s Day a national holiday in England and even though, I won’t stand to benefit this, another day off might mean my brother gets to finish remodeling his dining room.

So, join me please in my own campaign to celebrate the life of the most famous dragon slayer before Harry Potter came along. Even if there is no English blood coursing through your veins, be English for a day. Pluck a red rose from your neighbor’s garden and wear it in your lapel; make yourself a nice cup of tea; watch Benny Hill; when someone offers you something, don’t say, “Yes,” say “Oooh, if it’s no trouble”; complain about the weather and be sure to spend too long outdoors and get yourself a nice English sunburn.

Whatever you choose, let’s work together to give George his due. Now, join me if you will for a rousing rendition of Jerusalem before I head out to straighten my flag.

“And did those feet in ancient time,
Walk upon England’s mountains green?...”